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aliens-ate-my-mum:

Showing my favourite movie to my friends
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zidannibal:

First and last look, they Broke us pretty Bad.

earthdad:

ah, just another day of disappointing my parents and no one making out with me

mewbutts:

internetexplorers:

when i die i want to be buried wearing a pair of sunglasses so that a few decades down the line i will also be a cool skeleton

26,473 notes. 26,473 people identified with this statement. if even half that many people actually did this, can you imagine how confused future archaeologists would be

spoopyphilia:

bloodyoathmate:

My mum’s friends at work are having a baby and their last name is watts so they were trying work out a name for it, i suggested 60 and they both looked confused so i said maybe 20 would suit them better 

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heicho-u:

my entire life is me dropping things and whispering ‘fuck’

oh-look-benedict:

a-magicalunicorn:

charliexxx:

lindsaylohoean:

how many calories do u burn by sliding down a wall crying

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ten

i hate u

i will find you and i will skin you 

I will burn the heart out of you.

hiddlestonertilldeath:

mydogsnokes:

*sees person 3 miles away* *holds door open for them*

*sees person holding door open for me 3 miles away*
* has to jog for 5 minutes so I don’t make them wait*

The Apocalypse: As Documented by Tumblr

theblackship:

vworp-goes-the-tardis:

ouroborosfire:

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there now we don’t have to reblog anything else.

charl-plural:

bloodbending:

noctstiel:

bloodbending:

bloodbending:

idea: the porn olympics, where people compete to have the most nsfw stuff on their monitors as dangerously close to their parents as possible without them seeing

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GAME START

why is your dad shirtless

he’s hispanic it happens

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i win

theanti90smovement:

sorry i cant hang out with u today i have to catch up on my crying

baracknobama:

i hope manners is the next cool trend